That insecure girlfriend that no one likes.

Whats been on my mind?


I'm a girl who hangs out with guys. For multiple reasons.

1) They don't talk as much. Ladies, don't get me wrong I love having girl time to, but I am a woman who can appreciate silence, and those moments are galore when you're gaming with a buncha fellas and few when you're gossiping and painting nails with the ladies.
2) I am a born tom-boy. I get a long well with guys and that's the way it is.
3) WE ARE FRIENDS, just as much of friends as you and your best friend Cindy seem to be.

Here's where my passionate blog begins.


LADIES GET A HOLD OF YOUR INSECURITIES!

I love ya girl. I feel for ya, I really do.  I'v been cheated on. I'v had my heart broken.

BUT

I will never be the girl who says things like "you can't hang out with her" or  the girl who drops "subtle" hints like"oh, you're hanging out with her? I have to go now. Bye"

If you are dating someone and he likes to hang out with his friend, who so happens to be a girl...get with the program.

It all boils down to one thing. TRUST

If you don't have trust, you don't have a worth-while relationship at all.

What are the key ingredients to a great relationship?
1) TRUST
2) Loyalty
3) Compassion
4) Good sex (joke, but not really)


If you don't trust him, don't be with him. You'll drive yourself crazy thinking about what he could be doing or who he could be doing. What a waste of time (which is limited). Find someone you can say things like " Hope you have fun, babe"  and "say hi veronica for me" to. What's more attractive in a woman than confidence?

Be confident in your man. Be confident in your relationship. But most importantly, be confident in yourself, because if everything else fails, that's what you have left. That and ice cream.

Sometimes, we make bad calls, and we trust people who fail us. And then we have a hard time trusting ourselves in result of that.

If he cheats, here's what we learned (even if it hurts really badly):

1) He wasn't the right guy for you!
2) He didn't care enough about the relationship!
and
3) He is so into himself, that he's willing to let a treasure, like you, get away for some girl who doesn't know a damn thing about respecting relationships, and ya know what? that just makes them perfect for each other, and they can spend the rest of their short-lived relationship (or night) cheating on each other's shitty asses. and then you can laugh about and then feel bad for them. *breath

Did you notice that all the things we learned, were about him?

That's because none of the things that happened were about you. So don't sit there thinking "what's wrong with me?" and "why wasn't I enough?" ... IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU and EVERYTHING TO WITH WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM!

The one thing you might be able to learn about yourself from this experience?

That you are whole by yourself! He didn't complete you, and therefor, he isn't taking anything from you when he walks his sorry ass out the door.

This is what you need to know, You will find a man who cares about you and respects you enough to stay loyal and faithful to you, and he won't be the piece that completes you (since you are whole by yourself) but more like an upgrade to your already awesome-self. Somebody who enhances all the true beauty you already have. A complimentary color.

I was that annoying girlfriend once. Never again.

So make a pact with yourself.

Only date boys you trust and don't be that jealous, insecure, bitchy girlfriend that no-one likes.


Food for thought,

Han B.

Open Letter to One-Night-Stand Mackenzie

This is a letter I wrote after reading an entertaining yet, slightly disturbing article by a girl I don't know. 

Here's where you can read the original article.

http://universityprimetime.com/school/jmu/event/must-read-a-letter-to-a-one-night-stand-absolutely-amazing-going-viral

Dear Mackenzie,

    I too have thought about what people might think after I post this blog, and believe me, I'm sure this might insult some people. Alas, my intentions are neither to insult or degrade anyone, rather to openly and respectfully give my thoughts on some things you expressed in your letter. I acknowledge that you can't be much different than me in regards to your strong-feminist ideals that you openly speak of on the internet. With that being said, I perceive some of the topic differently than you seem to, and would love to share my thoughts on it!

Lets begin here:

While it is seemingly true that "The so-called “whores” got (get) all the attention from guys", can we also consider the boys who are looking for women who have the reputation of a "whore"? And by "get" do you mean, "get to sleep with"?  I have no problems with women going out and having a few drinks and enjoying the company of a sweet or not so sweet guy, but are you really expecting much more? I mean honestly? Do you really think you are going to meet the man of your dreams while he is quite obviously boozing and scrounging around for a one-night-stand? 

Hey, if you wanna go out and end up exploring someone else's body until sunrise, that is absolutely OK! You are allowed to do whatever you want with your body! It's a beautiful thing! Nobody should label you as anything for that, especially a guy who went out seeking the same thing that night. 

Here's where my opinion may vary from yours; in your letter you seem to be almost bitter at the fact that a boy doesn't want to take you home to meet his parents after spending the night with you, or for that matter doesn't even want to make eye-contact with you. While you are completely entitled to your liberal views on sexuality, you must also understand and accept the idea that boys (and I don't mean men) might frown upon this kind of behavior (and yes, I completely acknowledge how contradictory boys with this attitude are).

Why?

In my opinion, I could never fault a guy for not choosing to respect a girl who (in their eyes) does not appear to respect themselves. Now, please don't confuse that statement with me saying that a woman who is sexually devious does not respect herself. I am stating that this may indeed, be the way that a boy might view her, for whatever reason he believes to be true. 

I think that being able to express your sexuality in whatever way you chose to, is a really valuable liberty, but I also see why that may deter a boy (or girl) from choosing to pursue anything more with said one-night-stander. 

I don't think choosing to express oneself sexually, makes anyone, any less of a person. I don't the number of sexual encounters a person has, devalues them as a human being. 

I just want to point out, that we are as entitled to our sexual liberties as a contradicting boy may be to his opinion of a girl after a one-night-stand. 

While, I enjoyed your letter, I couldn't help but notice that the message wasn't necessarily directed  towards a point I would have liked to support. 

My main point: If you give a boy the idea that you are ok with being his sex object for the night (or vice-versa) you can also expect to be treated like a sex object for the remainder of your "relationship" with that individual. First impressions are (unfortunately) everything, in a world where boys prey on women who let them. 

Demand respect, and you will get nothing less. 

As a woman you are the gatekeeper, if you want to let a drunk guy wander in while you're on watch, that's up to you, but you can also expect him to wander out with a hangover in the morning. 

Food for thought,

Han B. 

Taking back your innocence.

What I wouldn't give to have my innocence back. Losing your innocence happens in many ways: it could happen when you lose someone you love, when you lose yourself to someone you love, or when two people you love, lose their love for each other. AKA: divorce, death, infidelity, basically, I define losing your innocence as the moment you realize that the world is not seamless, that you are not invincible, that you can be damaged, that your brain does not easily forget, and that you can no longer view things with un-tainted beliefs.

Sometimes our innocence is stolen from us; sometimes we give it away without knowing what comes next. 

Maybe it’s as simple as losing your faith? It’s the downfall of the perfect and beautiful reality you have during childhood (unless you lost it previous to that by some ill-fated occurrences). Maybe it’s as simple as losing the ability to bounce back from a bad experience?

I’m not sure what I would consider to be the exact definition, but it’s along those lines, I think.

People in their adulthood (and sooner) will seek to re-discover their faith (innocence) by joining a religion, by choosing to believe in something that can never let them down. By joining in on a written guide to their personal and eternal happiness, something that tells them: everything will be all right if they follow the rules. This is fine for some people. This is something I wish I could more easily be a part of. I wish I could turn my cheek to all of my tainted thoughts and get lost in my childhood imagination again where everything turned out ok.

The fact of the matter is that I can’t at this point, just like most people can’t. Of course I continue to try and find that faith again, but I guess my point is that, I hope you help the people around you keep their childlike faith, because when they lose it, they will spend the rest of their lives trying to find it again. Keep yourself pure so that you can experience the most pure form of life, love, and happiness.

Songs on the show Mistresses- Episode 5

I saw this question being asked tons online… well, I found the answers!

Here's a list of the songs for this episode!


1. Playing for Keeps- Elle King
2. Lay Your Cards Out- Polica
3. Into the Wild- Gossip
4. We Should Be Sleeping- Eddie Money


ENJOY and please read the rest of my blogs!


Han B.

HELLO LOS ANGELES!

The Trip

This summer began with a 2,270 mile trip across the country…

As you can imagine it was a long haul. Highlights?

Making Ramen over a fire, sleeping in a so-called "two-person tent" with two people (the trick is they are only made for one small-sized human), stopping in Vegas for two nights, and finally arriving in Los Angles!

Bits of Knowledge

Now that we're here, I have several bits of knowledge to share: 1) In LA, people honk for fun (maybe there is some sort of club that I am un-aware of), 2) If you go to a Gay bar- the straight men WILL find you and also introduce themselves by saying they are straight, HA, 3) There are way to many (bad) comedians, and 4) the talent is split into two different categories, those who are talented and those who think they are talented. I hope I'm in the first one, but I guess so does everyone. HA.

Daily Life

My day looks like this: I wake up, go swimming, or running, or sitting. Take my good ol' time making breakfast, research gigs for a while, then go work on music with other musicians or go perform at an open mic night. I have had luck booking three shows so far. Which, to my knowledge,  is a good thing. HA.

Swimming

Personal Growth

I learned to approach and talk to people. It was hard. I made friends.

Dating Life

I straight armed two men to avoid herpes.

I also helped a half-naked-drunk man stand up after taking a tumble on the bus, if that counts.

Germ-a-phobe Note-worthy Moments

Trying to help drunk man stand up . It looked something like this:
Man takes a tumble, pants down (no undies, mind you) shirt over head (I don't know how he managed that) after getting on the bus. I get up to help him up, but nobody else does. There are about three grown men watching little ol' me try to pick this man up, when its about as challenging as getting a wobbly toddler to stand on a boat in a storm. It was a struggle.

The note-worthy part was that I was on the bus in the first place, BAHAHAHAHAH. Conquering germ-a-phobia one step at a time.

Music Life

Played my first show at the House of Blues on Sunset Blvd!

Favorite Shot

This concludes my update of Hannah life.

Please check back for more interesting stories later,

Han B.

The beautiful-red-equal sign.

Tonight, I had coffee with good friends a little too close to my bed-time, which is apparently anywhere within six hours of having the cup of coffee. Needless to say, I'm wide awake at this hour.

Things I'd like to talk about:

Warning message: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, I AM HONEST, BUT NONE OF THESE WORDS ARE TO BE TAKEN PERSONALLY

I'm involved with the church-crowd. I love every minute of it. The people are great.

Last week I posted the beautiful- red- equal sign as my profile picture, why? Because I agree 100% with what it stands for. I was approached by some fellow church-goers about why I had chosen to post the image as my profile pic, even though I believe in God and according to "their" interpretation of the bible, it is against God's will for a marriage to be between same-sex couples.

Heated in the moment at what (in my opinion) appeared to be plain ignorance, I told them I 100% agreed with what it stood for, but failed to give them good reason why...with words anyway...

This had occurred before a volleyball game with friends, in which we proceeded to begin warm-ups. Still slightly heated, and in my childish  (non-verbal ways of communicating, which I am well-known for) I began making my point with the volleyball.

Our team peppered back and fourth. When I received the ball, I would gently pass it to one of my other teammates, but every time I passed it to a specific person (who had asked me the question about my profile pic) I would spike it at them extra hard. After, several rounds of this pattern, I asked the person, if they too liked being treated in a different way than everyone else.

Although I personally find this explanation of my beliefs to be funny, I'm not sure everyone can understand my point so clearly.

So, with that being said:

The red-equal sign has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with your religious beliefs as a person. We live in America, where we pride ourselves on being a FREE & EQUAL COUNTRY. How can we deny anybody the rights that are so clearly given to everyone else in the country? Would you really like to put yourself between someone and their happiness because of your own beliefs? Have some empathy people. How would you like somebody telling you, who you could and could not marry? Sounds pretty ridiculous right?

                                        Yesterday's racists look like fools to us, today.

                               
                                 Imagine what these people will look like to future generations….


Love,

Han B.

Spring Break for Han

Hey all,

Last week was spring break for all the CMUers, and I went to Lakeland, Florida. I have lots to say about this trip, but in short, this video I made, might give you better taste of the positive and high-energy trip it actually was: take a minute to watch, then continue….

Enjoy? Good. I did too. I have never been in the presence of a more caring, comforting, loving group of people in my life. 

Things I learned: I can afford to give a few hugs in good company. 

Truth is, these picture will tell you more than I could ever describe in words. 

High Light Pictures:

God Bless,

Han B.