Open Letter to One-Night-Stand Mackenzie

This is a letter I wrote after reading an entertaining yet, slightly disturbing article by a girl I don't know. 

Here's where you can read the original article.

http://universityprimetime.com/school/jmu/event/must-read-a-letter-to-a-one-night-stand-absolutely-amazing-going-viral

Dear Mackenzie,

    I too have thought about what people might think after I post this blog, and believe me, I'm sure this might insult some people. Alas, my intentions are neither to insult or degrade anyone, rather to openly and respectfully give my thoughts on some things you expressed in your letter. I acknowledge that you can't be much different than me in regards to your strong-feminist ideals that you openly speak of on the internet. With that being said, I perceive some of the topic differently than you seem to, and would love to share my thoughts on it!

Lets begin here:

While it is seemingly true that "The so-called “whores” got (get) all the attention from guys", can we also consider the boys who are looking for women who have the reputation of a "whore"? And by "get" do you mean, "get to sleep with"?  I have no problems with women going out and having a few drinks and enjoying the company of a sweet or not so sweet guy, but are you really expecting much more? I mean honestly? Do you really think you are going to meet the man of your dreams while he is quite obviously boozing and scrounging around for a one-night-stand? 

Hey, if you wanna go out and end up exploring someone else's body until sunrise, that is absolutely OK! You are allowed to do whatever you want with your body! It's a beautiful thing! Nobody should label you as anything for that, especially a guy who went out seeking the same thing that night. 

Here's where my opinion may vary from yours; in your letter you seem to be almost bitter at the fact that a boy doesn't want to take you home to meet his parents after spending the night with you, or for that matter doesn't even want to make eye-contact with you. While you are completely entitled to your liberal views on sexuality, you must also understand and accept the idea that boys (and I don't mean men) might frown upon this kind of behavior (and yes, I completely acknowledge how contradictory boys with this attitude are).

Why?

In my opinion, I could never fault a guy for not choosing to respect a girl who (in their eyes) does not appear to respect themselves. Now, please don't confuse that statement with me saying that a woman who is sexually devious does not respect herself. I am stating that this may indeed, be the way that a boy might view her, for whatever reason he believes to be true. 

I think that being able to express your sexuality in whatever way you chose to, is a really valuable liberty, but I also see why that may deter a boy (or girl) from choosing to pursue anything more with said one-night-stander. 

I don't think choosing to express oneself sexually, makes anyone, any less of a person. I don't the number of sexual encounters a person has, devalues them as a human being. 

I just want to point out, that we are as entitled to our sexual liberties as a contradicting boy may be to his opinion of a girl after a one-night-stand. 

While, I enjoyed your letter, I couldn't help but notice that the message wasn't necessarily directed  towards a point I would have liked to support. 

My main point: If you give a boy the idea that you are ok with being his sex object for the night (or vice-versa) you can also expect to be treated like a sex object for the remainder of your "relationship" with that individual. First impressions are (unfortunately) everything, in a world where boys prey on women who let them. 

Demand respect, and you will get nothing less. 

As a woman you are the gatekeeper, if you want to let a drunk guy wander in while you're on watch, that's up to you, but you can also expect him to wander out with a hangover in the morning. 

Food for thought,

Han B.