Understanding a Germaphobe 101

Mysophobia (Verminophobia) (from Greek μύσος - musos, "uncleanness"[1] and φόβος - phobos, "fear";[2] colloquially germophobia/germaphobia, a combination of germ and phobia to mean "fear of germs", as well as bacillophobia, and bacteriophobia) is a pathological fear of contamination and germs. 

As most of you know by my Facebook posts, or by actually knowing me in real-life (BIG DIFFERENCE); I am a super germaphobe. I will say that I have come quite a ways in my short life, but my trade-mark handshakes fool no one, I am still noticeably irritated by physical contact to say the least. Here's some facts about someone who has germ-anxieties, to help you better understand why you aren't helping at all when you say things like " germs are good for you" (we know that! shut up, seriously, shut up.).

1) most germ anxieties stem from even bigger anxieties that hide beneath the surface.

2) most of the time our tendencies are actually based on an obsessive compulsive feeling because obsessive compulsive disorder, germaphobia, hypochondriasis,  and general anxiety disorders come from the same place: fear of losing-control. 

3) no, germaphobes are not freaks; we just cope with our anxiety in a different way than you. Oh gosh, how horrible, someone avoids germs and cleans things excessively, I can't think of any other coping method that could be more horrible...(Sarcasm)

4) no, it's not just your hand. It's every single hand, EVER. To make this easier to understand; imagine that you have a common fear: the fear of spiders. You know that feeling that you get when you see one and want to scream and run away? Imagine that every time you go to shake someone's hand, a big fat ugly spider is sitting on it. PLEASANT. 

Many people (dumb people mainly) (kidding, but not really) (but kidding) (but not really), will ask me "well how come you can't just stop?" It's the same reason you don't jump off buildings and inhale water; fear. Although this fear seems irrational to most, it's a fear no less rational than the fear of death; because isn't that what all of our fears stem from anyway? And, if you ask me; death is a the most rational fear anyone could have ever.

Yeah, maybe there's a few steps between getting germs on your hands and dying (or maybe not), but there's also a few steps between jumping off a building and dying too (BAHAHAH, so morbid. Sorry, excuse my offensive sarcasm).

Facts

The worst part of a germaphobes' day is pressing the button to cross the street.

When you say baby, you might as well say germ.

We hold our breath in public restrooms.

When we say we're sick and don't want to shake your hand, we really mean we don't want to touch you

Now that you're all educated on the matter:

Here are some really good Gifs to even further your education about germaphobes.

What our ghost hand does every time someone tries to shake our real hand

How you think you're hugging us

How we think you're hugging us

How you think a handshake should go

How we think a handshake should go

How you think you look when you're laughing in our faces

How you look to us when you're laughing in our faces

Food for thought,


Han B.

Leaving your parents- The post grad chronicles

As many of you know (or may not know), I recently made the adventure of relocating from Michigan to Los Angeles! Having been here nearly a month now, I thought it would be a good time to talk about my post grad life experiences thus far.

THE MOVE

My mom so dared to endeavor on a week-long journey out to California with me in my little Veloster. We ran into some pretty tricky nights, including one where all of the highway got swept away by a flood, and left me thinking "why the fuck am I moving out here?" despite the fact that moving out to LA is all I've ever dreamed of. The next day we drove almost 300 miles out of the way to use the only other existing highway that was ridden with miles and miles of stand-still traffic, and again I thought " why the fuck am I moving out here?". We stopped and stayed with friends for the night in Las Vegas and with about 100 miles left in our tank, took off the next morning, only to find when we stopped for gas, the ENTIRE TOWN was out of power (which means NO GAS!). So, with about 40 miles left in the tank, we embark on a 40 mile trip to the next town over, hoping they have power and gas. 

Picture this:

My adorable little mom and myself in a tiny car, packed with everything I own, driving 40 in a 70, with the windows up, bellies out, dripping sweat, and praying we won't be human jerky in this 105 degree weather; all while thinking we are being more gas efficient in our efforts. And again I think to myself "WHY THE FUCK AM I MOVING OUT HERE?!".

Just two hours out of LA, I get an email from a potential employer asking if I can meet with him in; wait for it... 3 hours! The answer is yes, not because I want it to be, but because it has to be, because NO, I AM NOT TOO BUSY TO TRY AND IMPRESS YOU SO THAT I CAN ACTUALLY AFFORD TO EAT. 

We skate into town with 45 minutes to spare, I jump in the shower and we're off to my interview before I can even take a breath. 

AT A STARBUCKS JUST MINUTES LATER

We pull up to the curb and have the quick discussion of how we don't know each other and how we will avoid looking like we came together ( because who wants to hire someone who showed up to an interview with their mommy????) and next thing ya know I'm sitting across from a stunning man offering me a job on the spot while I avoid eye contact and overly excited giggles with my mom sitting just on the other side of the courtyard. 

HIRED

LUCKIEST GIRL ON PLANET

OH YEAH, THIS IS WHY I MOVED OUT HERE

If you hadn't guessed it already, about mid-interview, I guiltily pointed out my mother in the courtyard and word-vomitted to my future employer that she had come along because I had just gotten into town, which he took surprisingly well. 

DAYS FOLLOWING THE HIRRIVAL

My dad joins us out in California for my parents 29th anniversary, which they spend putting together Ikea furniture with me in my brand new apartment. 

I HAVE THE BEST PARENTS EVER

After a couple days of setting everything up and shopping and shopping more, it's time for my parents to leave. I bring them to the airport and attempt to keep them here forever. FAIL. Ever since grade school, I have been as independent as a girl can be. I went to summer camps for months; for many summers of my childhood, and never had problems with being homesick, but nothing could have prepared me for this moment of realization. I didn't even feel torn, I just felt like I didn't want to be away form my parents, EVER. The icky feeling of real adulthood set in and I cried. 

Yes, read it a couple times if you need to, I CRIED. 

I balled like a baby while I drove around that stupid airport traffic circle for hours while I tried to find my way out through blurry eyes and asshole drivers. 

I finally found my way home to my empty-stale apartment, where I had to sleep alone that night...and the rest of the nights to come. 

If you think you will never have this moment, I promise that you will. It will be the night you turn the keys, open the door and peak into a strange empty place called post-grad life that exists only for those who dare leave home. 

I realize that this moment probably happens a lot sooner or a lot later for some people (no matter your family dynamic), but nonetheless, I encourage you let it all out and cry like a baby too, because It's scary and growing up is scary too. 

Here's a couple things that have saved me in the past month:

1. Skype- skype the shit out of everyone who reminds you of home. 

I could only think of one. But don't worry, I will be writing my next post on "How to live in LA alone-as a semi-introverted, germophobic, female" later, so look forward to that.

Plenty of tips to come!

-Han B

I Graduated Today.

Framily (friends and family)

            I am excited to announce that today; I took my final exam at Central Michigan University.  I have been working like a mad woman to complete my degree in a timely fashion. Although my school career has been a little hastier than most, I didn’t miss out on much. I leave college with some lifetime friendships, great memories, and a Bachelors Degree in Entrepreneurship and Marketing.  Thank you to everyone who has made this a memorable experience for me.  I’m afraid if I tried to acknowledge everyone who has helped, you would get bored of reading all of the names, so instead I will let you share in this moment of thanking my parents…

Mom and Dad

These words won’t put a dent in the amount of admiration I have for you guys.  I wanted to tell you how thankful I am for providing me with the opportunity to attend college. In my time here at school, my respect for you and your choices has grown immensely. I can finally begin to fathom how much work and effort you have put into providing your children with educations.

Although I never learned how to follow rules, (specifically ones provided by parking services) college has been the ultimate gift for me. I feel confident and excited about the opportunities to come and whether they require a degree or not, you will be the only reason they are presented to me at all.

Your love and support is the foundation to any and all of my personal success. Thank you for all of your hard work and support, without you none of this would have been possible.

All my love,

Hannah

SENIOR YEAR

JUNIOR YEAR

SOPHOMORE YEAR

 FRESHMAN YEAR

Not pregnant, not engaged, and not married. Not mad.

THIS IS NOT MEANT TO INSULT THOSE WHO ARE MARRIED OR PREGNANT OR BOTH.

Read it again if you have to...

I'm gonna start out by saying, I may or may not have "attachment" issues. Note, that I didn't say "commitment" issues, because this is very different. I have no problem committing to things. I can commit to a job, a dog, a cat, a degree, ahhh.... ummm...a... oh, wait, not much else... I can commit to myself! 

I am so dangerously (for my ovaries sake) far away from "attaching" myself to anything or anyone who might alter MY plans. I know, lots of people like to call it, having commitment issues, but I could not disagree more. 

I won't deny that I am far too selfish to focus on anyone else right now, but I have never felt more ready for my life. It seems like most everyone is getting married and having babies on my Facebook feed, and while I feel excited and happy for them to start the next chapter of their lives, I could not feel more relieved my own plans differ so much.

I have every intention to get married one day and have tens of thousands of babies (wow right?) with that beautiful man, but I am not the least bit concerned with doing it in this very moment. 

SO, 

This blog is meant to be a bit of encouragement for you ladies rockin' the un-attached lifestyle !

Here are some things you can look forward to in your un-attached style of living:

1) Un-attached does NOT in, any way, mean ALONE. 

Enjoy a committed relationship, or two, or three! In fact enjoy any relationship, you're allowed too! Some people say you only date to marry, I say date if it makes you happy! What could be so wrong about enjoying good company, even if your paths lead different ways? Talk to the cutie in your class. Date him if ya want to :D

2) You can live ANYWHERE!

Think of all the beautiful, exotic, dangerous places you can go...YOU CAN GO THERE. You're at a point where you can decide things based on your feelings, and your feelings alone. WOOT WOOT

3) You can have cats and dogs galore. 

I know, I guess that doesn't seem that cool to anybody else but me...but I'm stoked about it. 

4) You can have your dream job.

Take this time to do all the things that you're passionate about, and if you don't know, find the things you're passionate about. Work up to the position your little heart desires without the worries of when you're gonna get home!

5) You can have a clean apartment...or house..or tent. 

You have the option of living in the cutest little girly place you can find if it's what you fancy...how fabulous? I have never enjoyed my living situation more, than when I lived by myself. I walked around in my undies 70% of the time, and I only had to do my own dishes! YUM. 

6) Your vast network of friends will undoubtably be over for wine night.

Boyfriends, boyfriend, or no boyfriend, you can always rely on your good friends for a awesome night. I guarantee your best friend snuggles better that any guy you could possibly want to take home.

I know that's only six things...but use your brain, there are plenty of reasons to love being in a relationship with yourself. 

Stop trying to tie yourself down. Embrace the beautiful un-attached lifestyle!

Travel, work towards something, friend as hard as you can, and enjoy a glass of wine in the nude of your adorable, clean apartment in the most fabulous place you can imagine.  

This blog  would be incomplete without some cheezy Independent woman music video at the end...

Food for thought,

Han B.

A Dangerous Way of Thinking, Is Religion Contributing?

Recently, a friend of mine shared an article via Facebook that I just couldn't keep my mouth shut, about. It's called "That Day I Wore Yoga Pants: 5 Myths about Modesty" and to me, this article is nothing about Yoga pants. 

Without turning this blog-post into some sort of religious debate, I just want to speak about my opinion of this dangerous, "submissive-attitude".


Please read the article before continuing, or else, none of this will make sense to you. 


First off, I am admittedly a form of feminist.

When I say this, I mean that I will always try my hardest to be the best I can, and if that means being better than a boy, so be it. I simply look at it in the way that, if I try my hardest at succeeding in whatever it is I do, than the man I marry will be equally as ambitious or even more so than myself, and who wouldn't want that? I stand for equality, respect, and intelligent competition, and if that makes me a feminist, then I guess I am. 

Also, (on a side-note) I wear Yoga Pants all day, everyday. They are comfortable, and I work at a Yoga Studio, so this article already sucks. 

Now, 

I understand that this article was posted with the intention of spreading some sort of "Christian" (and mind you, this is not specific to just Christianity, but instead seems to appear in most religions in some form) way of thinking, but to me this article could be the reason why, on the opposite end of the spectrum, so many women are being objectified today. 

The author of this article is allowing herself to become even more of a sex object and she doesn't even realize it. There is no power in deciding not to "tempt" men, the real power is not involving men in your decision at all. This kind of an attitude, the one where, we consider our moves based on men at all, is the reason men objectify women in the first place, Instead of saying " I don't want to tempt him" or "I do want to tempt him", just say "I want to wear these pants for ME". 

This kind of attitude could and is harmful to the way men view women. When we allow what men think or say guide out thoughts or actions, we are objectifying ourselves. We are letting ourselves be controlled and we are contributing to a hazardous mentality. 

Many women in abusive relationships have just that, a "submissive-attitude". 

Where does this kind of mentality stop?

Surely, one can see the correlation between "I shouldn't wear that, as I don't want to tempt him" and "I should't have broken that glass, and I deserve (said punishment)"

Eliminate Objectification.

I'v said this in previous posts. The only way anyone gets respect is by demanding it. 

Be a well-rounded woman of intelligence, passion, humor, and motivation and you will attract a man of equal stature. Be a woman who submits as to not "tempt" a man, and you will attract a man too weak to deal with "temptation" on his own. 

I respect modesty, but make sure you're doing it for yourself, not for anyone else. 

Food for thought,

Han B. 

Is he playing "hard-to-get", or are you just playing "hard-to-avoid"?

I'm mean. 

I give out fake numbers, fake names, and I even sometimes fake that I have no interest in the entire sex of the pursuing party. 

WHY?

Sometimes, because I can and sometimes, because I can. 

Makes a lot of sense right?

Here's the thing, this is not specific to just me and it's for sure not specific to just my gender.

Why am I talking about this?

Sometimes, as the pursuing party we forget that we don't always get what we want,  and not only that, but we need to stop calling.

Girls make up excuses for why he's not answering, or calling back. 

"He must have his phone off"

"Maybe he went out of town"

"Maybe he's playing hard-to-get"

"Maybe he died"

NOPE. 

I mean, sure, there could be the case of drunken boy dropping his phone in the toilet...and now, he's phone-less, but, let's get real ladies, he's not answering because he doesn't care and/or he's not interested. 

Boys are pretty simple creatures. 

Boy wants Cheetos, boy eats Cheetos.

Boy wants to play x-box all day, boy plays x-box all day.

Boy wants to shit with the door open, boy shits with the door open. 

Simple. 

Boys do what they WANT to. 

If he's not answering, it's probably because he doesn't WANT to. 

If he didn't invite you over, it's probably because he doesn't WANT you there. 

NOW, don't be all heart broken because some kid decided not to return your interest, think about all the times some weirdo approached you with his heart in a box at a club and you were all "bahahahhahahahaa" in his face and dancing away, spilling your drink on everyone as you did so.

You're mean too. 

Not only are you mean, but you can also be a real bitch when you want to.

Just because you put on your nicest dress and do your hair, doesn't mean he has to look your way. 

It's a hard truth to face, but eventually you'll get the hang of it. 

SO here's what you need to stop doing: 

1) calling him

If he likes you, he will call you

2) Facebook stalking him

Just stop, it's pathetic, and no he's not dating all of the pretty girls in his profile picture

and

3)giving a shit

You're pretty, and there's definitely some weirdo at the club who wants to make you his wife, so stop bitching about how you don't understand why he doesn't like you. Think about how you feel about club-weirdo, yup, that's how he feels about you. 

Here's what you need to start doing:

1) dressing up for yourself

2) dancing for fun

and

3) getting over it

I'm not saying I'm pro at boys, but I am saying, not giving shit, sure beats being pitty-party-patty.

Take a guess as to why weirdo boy plays X-box in his boxers and eats Cheetos all day. It's because so many girls like you turned him down and he learned how to not give a shit. 

Maybe we need to follow their example? Seems like a prime coping method. 

I like Cheetos. 

-Han B

The Culture of not Condoning (sex)

Dear Parents of the world, 

A while ago I stumbled across an article called "Dear Daughter: I Hope You Have Some Fucking Awesome Sex" ...I had thoughts on it immediately after reading it, but didn't write about it. I am currently taking a Human Sexuality class in school, and I really enjoy it, but today's lecture reminded me of this article and now I have to write about the "Non-condoning culture" I believe in.

In my other blogs I talk about having an open sexuality and engaging in whatever kind of devious practices you chose to enjoy on your own time, so as a reader, you can assume my intention is not to outright "shame" people for having active sex-lives. Instead, I wanted to talk about the beauty in keeping the traditional act of discouraging and not condoning teens and children to have sex at young ages.

My professor compared the rate of teen-pregnancies, abortions, and STDs in the United States today to the rates in those of European countries. The United States was noticeably higher than the rates of the European countries compared in the graph. He then went on to say that the reason he believes this is the case, is because of Europe's open-sexual-education policy.  The concept is that, with an open-mind and open-dialog policy about sex, teens are less likely to contract STDs and more likely to engage in safe sex, due to the education provided. This, I cannot disagree with. It would seem that this would be a plausible-direct-effect of sexual education.

Of coarse, playing devil's advocate, I had to ask the question, "How do these rates compare to countries where premarital sex is shamed by way of disownment, violence, and even death?" I know, it's not really a statistic we could ever obtain due to the societal-shame-factor involved, meaning even if the statistics where significantly lower, we would never know because nobody would ever be able to speak-up about premarital sex experiences in fear of being "shamed" (whatever that term may mean in said culture).

I am certainly not, condoning, in any way, shaming, by way of violence (verbal or physical), disownment, or death... but instead bringing back the traditional idea that sex, is something that parents should not be condoning, in anyway, with teens and children.

For me, personally, the "sex-talk" was an on-going conversation through-out my teen-years with my parents. They always had answers to my question, and I knew I could ask them anything I needed/wanted to about sex, anatomy, and other related topics, thats not to say I always did, or that I wasn't ever too embarrassed to ask (know your boundaries people and thank God for Google). This kind of open-relationship allowed me to feel confident that my parents trusted and respected my siblings and I, and had our backs in whatever situation we found ourselves in. This kind of honesty leads to a healthy relationship and parent-offspring bonding every family should strive for.

While my parents had an open-dialog policy about sex, they DID NOT in any way, ever condone premarital sex.  My parents never pushed, but rather educated us on their personal views of religion. My intention is not to make this a religious debate, but to show the reader that religious or not, this standard can be upheld in any household. They didn't condone premarital sex out of pure concern for the health of us (their children), not because of religious views.

Here's where my opinion varies from "Dear Daughter Daddy"

Obviously, I am biased to my own upbringing when I say this, but I believe in the "non-condoning culture" when it comes to sex. Sex should not be "shamed" nor should parents teach their children to feel shame or guilt when engaging in sexual acts, but more or less, not be indifferent to such acts.

Here's why:

On a very basic note, creating and teaching a level of respect and acknowledgment of intimacy for the act of sex, can only do humanity good. I'm not asking parents to lie to their kids and tell them that sex will kill them, but to entertain the idea of creating a sense of fulfillment that can only come from having respectable and honest sexual relations. By honest, I mean honest with themselves. Helping your children create an awareness of the beauty in intimacy.

I want to give my children the opportunity to respect my thoughts as a parent, or at the very least to break rules as teens (a feeling we all know well and look back upon fondly), both of which I feel are important experiences.

Bottom line, teach your children to respect themselves and hope that when the time comes they have a healthy and safe sex-life. Be honest and open, but teach the values of waiting and honoring one's body. I promise your kids will learn to love you for it.

Thanks Mom and Dad,


Han B.