Post Grad Chronicles: Finding out your dream job is still years away

I think we all have this dream that once we graduate-we have a shot at making money doing the things we love to do most. Unfortunately,  that's pretty false for most of us. It's becoming more and more clear to me since my graduation that, not only does nobody care about your degree- but in some instances it may actually hurt you (sorry, but you seem overqualified for this job- WTF?!)! Although I have been fortunate enough to land a pretty cool job, I have been constantly on the prowl for work in the field that I am most passionate about and have the opportunity to move up in. My days-off consist of scrolling through job-sites and eating food in my bed (which is pretty gross). Some days-like today- I don't even leave the house. I'm slowly becoming a domestic house cat.

I was so excited yesterday to finally have gotten an interview with a "company" that was advertising a position in PR and marketing-it's not exactly what I want to do, but it's a stepping stone. I spent a couple days before-hand mentally prepping myself, picking out clothes, and printing resumes. It doesn't sound like much, but when you exist solely from episode to episode on days you're not working the job you hope to be- it takes a lot out of you.

So yesterday morning I wake up at the butt-crack of 9:00AM (which is way too early for someone who's in a post-grad depression) to get ready for this supposed interview. I tried on several different uncomfortable outfits before putting on a variation of pajamas with a blazer. Don't worry- I looked great. I even put make up on my face- I PUT MAKE UP ON MY FACE.

After a drive that took way too long in LA traffic- I arrive at what looks like a mall plaza. I'm already assuming that what I am about to walk into is going to suck- but I PUT MAKE UP ON MY FACE- so I continue on my way.

I was told by the lady I spoke with to be on-time or I would not be considered. I also asked a series of questions before I came into this interview to help screen jobs I was not interested in. I WAS LIED TO.

I show up to the address and no one is there except a few other girls in dress-clothes with resumes. We all gather and try to determine what's going on and half hour later a woman who looks like she has been smoking meth since she was 4 walks up and unlocks the doors. She tells us all to get in line and that we will be seen soon.

I'm exhausted writing this because it pisses me off so much.

A little while later a fat man in a tacky suit walks up and says "HELLO LADIES, ARE YOU READY TO GET STARTED?!"

All the giddy-dressed up girls giggle and yell back "YES" ( I mumble yes, but I'm still smiling at this point because I can't tell for sure how badly I have been lied to.)

He tells us all to come in at once and have a seat. He starts repeating phrases like" we are one of the best promotion companies in the nation!" and "you have the chance to make a lot of money!" . Now for any of you who know me- you know that I HATE salesmen (and women) with a passion. HE IS SELLING US THE JOB. That's never a good sign. I have half a mind to walk out at this point because I am so ANGRY that I PUT MAKE UP ON MY FACE FOR THIS.

He continues by explaining to us a pyramid scheme and says "it's not a pyramid scheme".

At this point every other girl in the room is still giggling at his stupid jokes and paying attention-while I'm over here deciding if I should walk out or punch this guy in the face. There is nothing I hate more than when people waste my time. So instead of leaving- I decide to sit in the front row and GLARE at him with the most pissed off eyes this guy has undoubtedly ever seen.

The "interview" continues by way of this man calling each of us up to ask us a few generic questions in front of everyone. Each girl before me stands up and flirts and giggles and says how they will be perfect for this job (which doesn't make sense-since, judging by the questions he asks the only qualifications are that you are free on weekends, have a car, and ARE REALLY FUCKING STUPID).

The guy notices me and starts to sweat because I'm positive my glare is making him uncomfortable. He finally gets to my name and asks the same generic questions to me as he did to every other girl- the only difference is that I answer everything as if I want to murder him and then sit down.


After waisting 2 hours of my precious time-that could have been spent in bed with food-he finally stands up and says, "well honestly ladies I think we're gonna hire all of you!". The group erupts in applause and I am LIVID.

NO SHIT HE IS GOING TO HIRE ALL OF US. THIS IS A SCAM!

I'm writing about this now wishing I had brought my pepper spray to the "interview" because I think I could have really done some damage I was so mad.

I guess my point is that- it's hard out here for a pimp.

I PUT MAKE UP ON MY FACE FOR THAT.

There is nothing like lying to a group of women who have dreams and passions and educations to get them out to a FAKE INTERVIEW to WASTE THIER TIME.

My post-grad advice for this blogging session? If you get pulled into a scam with lies- STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, like I didn't.

Side note- I wrote this from bed, naked, with food.




-Han B.